The Time I Thought I Was Gonna Die

Alternately Titled: The Time I Decided to Exercise

Alternately Titled: This morning.

So I recently had a baby and I don't know anyone who has a baby and doesn't worry or at least wonder when/if their weight is going to come off. I gained about 30 pounds when I was pregnant with Piper and 20 of that fell off by itself in the first 6 weeks. At my 6 week appointment my doctor remarked that I'd already lost all my weight but I knew I still had those last 10 pounds. For those of you with an XY chromosome who might not know this, those last 10 pounds are EVERYTHING. They cling to your thighs for dear life. They whisper to you to have that slightly large-ish (aka gigantic) piece of cake. They laugh unabashedly when you try to wriggle into your pre-baby pants. I hate those last 10 pounds. So I decided to exercise. For the first time. Ever.

Sure, I'd poked around on the Wii Fit and just yesterday I pulled Jathan and Ryland (a good 50 pounds) in the wagon all the way to the SWAP shop at the end of campus while wearing Piper. But I was going to really exercise with equipment. At least two people laughed when I revealed my plans to buy a bike. After all I'm not exactly the most athletic person ever. But I didn't relent. I thought it would be an easy and fun way to lose a little weight and get in better shape. We searched for an inexpensive bike that would meet my unique height requirements (okay, okay, I'm short--I needed a 24 inch bike instead of the standard 26 inch) and had a hard time finding one. I liked the cute cruiser styles with the comfy seats and beachy colors but they all came with 26 inch wheels. Eventually I found a 24 inch women's "comfort" bike and we ordered it.

Last night Jackie finally had it all put together for me and got the tires aired up. Thankfully what they say is true--you don't ever forget how to ride a bike. I was a little wobbly getting started but thank goodness I didn't fall over or anything, ha ha! I took the bike for a little spin around the block and, immediately feeling the pull in my thighs, told those last 10 pounds their time was limited. Jackie and I laid in bed last night talking and I told him if I woke up in time before he left, I was going to ride in the morning. He smiled and said, "Good luck getting up."

I woke up at 6:45 this morning, got dressed (in hot pink shorts and a shirt with glitter on it for goodness sake), fed Piper, and headed out. Now I don't know about you but I had gotten the idea from the title "comfort" bike that it would be comfortable. My Lazyboy recliner, it ain't. When I mounted my bike this morning it felt like I already had bruises on my hind quarters from my extremely short ride last night! I felt my body say, "Hey, wait a minute. What the heck is going on here?!" It was ever so sad and I hope that no one saw me or if they did, that I put on a decent show of it. I had originally hoped to circle the entire campus but I soon knew that I was only going to make it around half of campus on the bike. I knew I couldn't have been gone very long yet, though, and didn't want to return too early and have Jackie know what a total wimp I am. I decided to walk the other half of campus. Slowly, I think. In my defense it was already 86 degrees outside and felt like 98 with 77% humidity...perhaps not the easiest environment to begin working out in. I've always thought those people out jogging at noon when the air was so humid that you could easier swim through it than breath it were just showing out. Now I know that's true.

There have been very few times in my life when I thought I might die. A couple of times when I was a teenager--sorry, no details ; ), that one time I tried exercising while pregnant with Jathan and choked on my gum but tried to act like I wasn't choking because no one wants to see a sweaty pregnant lady choke, and while I was in the ER certain my head was literally going to split open after having Jathan. I wondered this morning. I just tried to stay focused and not walk into the light or anything and you know what? I made it! I got back to my building and somehow managed to walk up all those steps to the third floor, too.

"How was it?" Jackie asked.

"It was hard," I told him.

"What do you mean hard?" he replied. I only punched him in my head.

I guess it doesn't seem like a lot but it got my heart pumping and my muscles straining and that's the point of exercise, right? Now I've just got to not give up. I know it will get easier and be more enjoyable if I don't.

Just wanted to warn you guys that should you see me out, don't be concerned if I look like I might keel over any second--that's normal for me, and please don't laugh. At least not where I can see you. = P