Wednesday, June 8, 2011

2 Weeks Old

As of 2:16 this morning, Piper is 2 weeks old. Cue the reminiscent sighs of mothers out there and the eye rolls of the fathers. I happened to mention the fact that Piper was almost 2 weeks old last night to Jackie and got just that--the eye roll. I guess guys just don't get it. But being the sentimental female person that I am, it saddens me. Though I was quite round and somewhat uncomfortable 2 weeks ago I honestly wasn't in a hurry to have her. When I knew that she was going to be born the next day, I started paying attention to her every movement wanting to savor those last few moments of our ultimate connection.

Maybe it's because I'm getting older or maybe it's because Piper's the fourth child but all of a sudden my "remember this" switch has been flipped. As the space grows wider between that moment when I first knew that she existed and the present, I cling more and more to the essence of those seconds, hours, and days. Not only her but Keeleigh, Jathan, and Ryland as well. Even Jackie. I want to drink in this season of our life and slurp up the last drops at the very bottom not in an effort to freeze time but because I know I'll look back someday and realize there were things I should have done differently. I'll wish I'd taken it slower, held their hands longer, and gazed into their eyes with love no matter the hour of the day.

I want to remember the softness of my newborn's fingers wrapped around mine and the exact color blue of her eyes. I want to bury my nose into the crease of her neck and breath in that sweet, sweet scent as often as I can. I want to stand in the dark and sway back and forth with her chin on my shoulder as long as it takes. It's hard being a mother but I've finally realized that I really do want to pour all of myself out and right into them so that they will know love and so that love will go on. And when doubt creeps in and I wonder where I will get the strength just to hold my eyes open, I want to remember to praise God for these children and this husband and find strength in Him.

Honestly, that's what I did last night when I danced Piper around the bedroom past midnight. She cried (and cried) and Jackie grumbled as tired fathers do, but I bounced and rocked and swayed and prayed. I thought about these fleeting moments and I thought about others who might be struggling with children and I thought about others who will never have the joy of struggling with their own children. I thought about mothers who've lost their babies and babies who've lost their mothers and that puts everything into perspective.

I also took an inventory of all that's passed already in Piper's little life. The latest check-mark on the list was next to having her umbilical cord fall off. Yes, that thing which connected her physically to me for all those months is just a mummified blue stump which, yes, I saved! Because I'm weird like that.

Hopefully not so weird is the fact that I take pictures like a fiend. A tie to my sentimentality, I suppose. So, of course, I made 2-week photos of Piper today. The boys snuck in on a few of them because they've been so well trained to say cheese whenever a camera is on.

I'm still in awe of her little head of dark hair...




In the things that knit for her minus the too-small hat (I'll have to rework it!)...


Making a cute little "oh" face with her owl taggie blanket...


Wearing her orange owl outfit I made...


Small, smaller, and smallest...


Getting kisses...



Baby feet...


I wonder how many Tuesday nights I'll glance at the clock and remember where I was x number of weeks ago? I'm sure I'll stop before long but for now I'll keep getting teary eyed at the thought of my growing babies and Jackie can keep on shaking his head in disbelief at me. = )

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