Saturday, April 21, 2012

Are Stay-At-Home Moms Lazy?


Before you throw me under the bus, allow me to explain. 

So Hilary Rosen’s comment that Ann Romney “never worked a day in her life” has caused a stir lately. It even drew out a response from President Obama who said, “There’s no tougher job than being a mom. . . Anybody who would argue otherwise, I think, probably needs to rethink their statement.”  Of course, this is not a new subject of argument. There seems to always be some sort of dissension among women.  This group is better than this group for this reason and that group doesn't understand what its like to be that group. Blah, blah, blah. Personally, I agree with President Obama's statement that there's no tougher job than being a mom. However, Mr. President, having a tough job doesn't necessarily mean that job will be performed to the utmost of one's ability. You know that. ; )

President Obama wasn't the only one who rose up to defend Ann Romney and the status of the stay-at-home mother. Forbes recently featured an article written by a working mom which did the same. I saw status after status on Facebook from men and women alike stating what a misstatement Hilary Rosen had made. One of my favorites included a quote from Bill Cosby: "I am not the boss of my house. I don't know how I lost it. I don't know where I lost it. I don't think I ever had it. But I've seen the boss's job...and I don't want it." Everyone agrees (okay, maybe not Hilary Rosen) that the job description for the title of mom is a tough one. Having a baby is the easiest way to stretch the limits of what you believed possible. I know, I've had four of them and they continue to amaze me. But guess what? I'm lazy. 

I imagine that some of you find this hard to believe because many of you have told me what a good mom I am, have said, "I don't know how you do it." My mom told me that most people think I'm either crazy or superwoman. Ha. 

A while back I set up a booth at our campus's craft fair. Someone dropped by and marveled at all the things I'd knitted saying, "You must be one of those people who just always have to be doing something." 

"Actually," I told her, "I'm very lazy." She just looked at me funny. 

It's true. Sure, I have four kids and I home school. We almost always have clean clothes to wear and hot food on the table. We stay busy. But it seems to me that all these things I am praised for, however, are fun. I have built a life around me that I love. I've always wanted a house full of children. Home school is a little bit AWESOME to me. I'd rather eat a home-cooked meal than eat out. Heck, I don't even mind doing laundry as long as the kids aren't trying to jump on the bed at the same time. 

But my windows and mirrors are dirty. I had the same bottle of Windex for, like, 3 years. My microwave is dirty, too. Sometimes the dishes that can't be washed in the dishwasher just sit on the counter for a week. I try my best not to even buy things that can't be washed in the dishwasher or washed and dried. If an article or clothing says, "Hand wash only," it is NEVER going to be washed. Ever. I sigh and complain when Jackie needs me to proof-read his papers. Sometimes I let the kids play make a mess (drag out the contents of the cabinets...bowls, movies, etc.) so that I can just sit and goof off on the Internet or play a game on my Kindle Fire. I'm looking at a huge stack of Coke points on my desk that need to be put in. My children and I often sleep until 10 a.m. (By the way I was the same way when I was a "working" mom. I slacked on the things I could have/should have been doing every day!) I could go on and on. 

There are a million other offenses, some greater and some lesser, that I could cite. The point is that I always take the path of least resistance. I put on a decent show but many times I have a downright lazy attitude. And I'm betting you do, too. 

The Bible says, "Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve." Colossians 3:23

And "Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might..." Ecclesiastes 9:10.

Can you honestly say that everything you have done thus far today, you did with all your might keeping in mind that you were serving the Lord. You know that God you profess as Master, Almighty Creator of the Universe? What would you have done differently if God was visibly standing before you? I'm not saying that we need to work our fingers to the bone or obsess about the cleanliness of our home or making a lot of money. I'm just saying that when I heard all of this talk about stay-at-home moms vs. working moms and which is more accustomed to working, I knew that I had no right to dole out judgment. I'd have to get this log out of my eye before I could pick at anyone else's speck. (Matthew 7:3-5) God impressed on me the need to "be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed..." (2 Timothy 2: 15) and to "Do everything without grumbling or arguing." (Philippians 2:14). Yep. Everything. And I mustn't forget, "Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit." (Philippians 2:3-4) Yep. Nothing. = )

I want to change my attitude first by honoring God for Who He is. I want to keep Him in mind during each and every moment. Then I want to respond accordingly...with thanks. Because in the end, when I stand before Him and give an account for the things I've done and those things I left undone, my fellow minion moms who would jump to defend my status saying, "But she'd been up all night with the baby!" or "She NEEDED to unwind!" won't matter a bit. "He also who is slack in his work is brother to him who destroys." Proverbs 18:9 and I have no relation to him who destroys so I don't need to be acting like it!

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